I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
