wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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