Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
