I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
