Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
