I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
