R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
