Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
