Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
