am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
