He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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