Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
