I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
