He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
two words: eviction party
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
