Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
