didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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