My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
