therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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