Sponge bath it is.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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