He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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