We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
