these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
