I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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