Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
