So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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