They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
