Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
