he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
