Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
