He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
