Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
