what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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