Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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