she was so not down for the gang bang
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
