do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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