Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
