We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
