I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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