She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
