I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
