I accidentally had phone sex last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
