i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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