and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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