This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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