I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
