Whod you bang
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
