Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
