I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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