How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
