haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
