Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
