oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
