i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
