We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
