evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
